Getting Divorced – What to Say?

Have you ever been asked a question and you don’t know “what to say?”

Question: “Hey, how’s your husband…?”

Me: “Oh, were all doing good. The boys and I are well…”

Question: “Haven’t seen you two together in a while…everything ok?”

Me: “Keep us lifted up in prayer”


Question: “Well, Sis… I saw him with a date over the holidays and he introduced me to his new friend at the movies with your sons…What’s going on? Are you ok? Do you want to talk?”

Me: (Thinking: Seriously…What do I say?…Quick just say) “It’s complicated”

What do you say –

When people see through the silence…

When friends hug you and begin to cry or avoid you because its too awkward…

When church doesn’t feel the same because you sang on the worship team together…

When you have experienced shock, sadness, denial, despair…

When your sons cry and ask “Mommy, why did Daddy get his own house?”.

When you have made up your mind to keep progressing in life head held high…

When you feel surrounded by peace that surpasses your natural understanding… When there’s a smile on face because nothing can disturb you, kill your contentment or steal your inner joy…

When the situation is outrageous and yet you go forward through the adversity because in moments of extreme weakness the Almighty God is your complete strength…

When you courageously choose to forgive, heal, grieve, get stronger & trust God with this painful situation…

When all you want to do is be transparent and authentic about what you’re going through because you’ve only shown vulnerability in private…

When you know that the Lord will take care of you no matter what…

You believe…You trust…You obey, pray and get out of the way…

When you are feeling broken and bruised, know that that's why Christ came. Just for you & me.

 #Promise: The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

That’s when you start to understand peace and faith. That’s when God becomes your everything. That’s when you begin to search for and stand on His promises. That’s when you get to know…

El Roi (The God Who Sees Me) Looking with Compassion and Understanding

Imannuel (God with Us) Present, Guardian, Victorious

Jehovah Emet (God of Truth) Firm, Faithful, Reliable

“I never knew I had a parachute on until I got kicked out of the airplane”…-LQ

Even though I’ve always been an optimist, positive and upbeat, that is what it felt like. Falling. Fear attempted to be all around me. I entered the war room battle – little did I know I was protected by angelic wings and falling right into my Heavenly Fathers hand that would hold me & carry me through….Imagine, 4 months ago, I heard words that would shake me, wake me, make me look deep into my soul and reflect like I never have before…

“Let’s give it six months” – “I’m not happy anymore”

“I don’t want to be married” -“I want to file for divorce”.

And it began. No more homeschool. No Christmas pictures with Daddy. My sons rotating between two homes. Sold our house. Separate holiday schedules.

p3-divorceEverything changed. Everything shifted. Everything was revealed over about 100 days. After 10 years of marriage I was worn out, hair was falling out, I started a blog to release, served in ministry, next day couldn’t get out of bed, went to counseling, faced mental and emotional challenges, miscarriage, motherhood, blended family life, terrible mistakes, avoided conflict, made excuses and still kept up appearances. I attempted to be the solution. I tried to save my own life and put the shattered, broken pieces back together (how silly…) I realized as an imperfect, flawed human I had to allow the power of Risen King Jesus to be the Sacrificial Savior I wrote and sang about. I didn’t have to “try” so hard to “be perfect” – its not real, SuperQ does not exist. I had to fully accept that I wasn’t under a performance based relationship with God. I wasn’t hostage to a picture perfect image. God was completely satisfied with me.

That’s when I felt warmth returning to my body, vision and my goals became clear.That’s when I held onto renewed hope. I started eating lean and healthy again and focusing on fitness. I started praying & confessing Biblical promises in the midst of a seriously messed up circumstance. I only wanted to hear about faith, trust and transformation. My favorite YouTube subscriptions included videos from Christine Cain, Beth Moore, and Lisa Nichols. I read multiple books at a time and attended several Bible Studies and weekend services to stay anchored in God and keep my spirit fed.

And as the days passed, in my place of quiet solitude, I became re-committed to and serious about my single most important relationship. I knew this was a season from winter to spring. What I’ve lived isn’t pretty, my children are affected and this is all tough to handle. However, I know that the Lord never stopped pursuing me…And I’m all His now. When we make The Lord your priority, things begin to get better because once we surrender trying to “help God out”, He has full access and control. After this happens, you truly discover the beauty of rest and restoration in Him. Get ready to watch His best work up close and personal. He is the Master Creator, He takes our mess and makes a miracle.

Promise: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

….When people ask questions, I’ll say…

“In order for gold to be refined, it must be heated to peak temperatures then cooled and formed into jewelry before it glistens with value…

In order for a diamond to form, a rock goes through extreme pressure and be rubbed with sandpaper to sparkle and shine…

In order to transform into a butterfly, the caterpillar goes in a cocoon…then it emerges to soar”…

If you are going through a difficult point in life or a relationship know that you can make it through, this is not the end…its’ only the beginning. God desires for you to be delivered and free from the pain of your past. He wants to reconstruct you and remodel your life, then inhabit your heart and teach you how to be more like Him. If you want to connect or have me share with you how to experience the lavish love of God our good, good, Father and walk into the best life of destiny, vision and power He has for you – please send an email message to I will share books, info, and genuine sisterhood. You are cherished. You are a champion and over comer. You are brave. You are going to propel to unleash great potential. You are significant. You are God’s original masterpiece. You are unstoppable…

Promise: Romans 8:28 says…And we know in all things God works together for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His #purpose. #foundmypassion #mademypoint  #myilifejourneyprocess #thep3life

Thanks for reading my lengthy, most private post to the public – It is my truth. It’s where I’ve been, what I’ve experienced and shaped where I am going in life. I pray it encouraged you or informed you so that you can pray for me & my family.Leave a comment if you’d like. Experience joy & peace now & remember there’s hope ahead

In His Service,


3 thoughts on “Getting Divorced – What to Say?

  1. Tiffany says:

    Sis, this is wonderfuly expressed. I am encouraged to know, and believe, that no matter what I go threw “I am cherished” by God. I love that. I am encouraged to rest in the assurance that when I’m at my weakest he’s (God) at his strongest. I dont have to be “super, strong super hero” I can just be my holy father’s daughter who he’s making strong for his purpose and plan. I admire your honesty, and your resilience. I pray that God takes you and your babies and hide you under the shadow of his wings. I pray that God shield your babys’ heart’s.Thank you for giving birth to a higher calling in God in your transition. May God continuously give you peace that surpasses all understanding and guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus! Continue to hold your head up high and walk, walk, and walk. Please continue journaling, and I pray it turns into a book. God Bless, sis


  2. LaNeisha Sanders says:

    I am amazed at what you shared, so eloquently and encouraging. I truly believe God is giving you beauty for ashes. I am praying with and for you. We will connect soon xoxo.



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